A Shareable Journal in a Private Language
有些事情好像很難真的相信。很難相信你已經真的離開，很難相信我看不到你了。
熄了燈之後眼淚流透了。這樣的夜晚在我印象中不多，上一個已經是好久以前。或許可以說這又是人生的另外一個他媽的標記，可是每當想到時間在後面不斷嘮叨催促我說：「趕快向前走吧！」 我就會莫名的想要生氣，我不知道要怎麼面對以及表達何種情緒，只想像一個小孩沒來由的耍賴鬧脾氣。而想到你，儘管我好驕傲，但是還是想要哭。有時候躺下來，周圍人群還在吵鬧著，我就突然哭了，有時候開車開著開著，我就突然哭了，有時候大家圍著唱歌，唱著唱著我就突然哭了。我想起一句話：「小時候的我們哭著哭著，就笑了。現在的我們笑著笑著，就哭了。」
好久以前有一個好重要的人對我說過，「面對這些事，我知道我有一天將會不再悲傷。」那麼現在的淚水都是拿來紀念你，是我最後可以給的。而我答應在將來的某一天開始，我想到你時，我一定會微笑。
And I know that you know it. You know that you are, and will always be my favorite.
I’m so proud of you. You are my little great traveler that You’ve made it so far. You crossed the ocean and traveled thousands of miles. You made it even further than many other people who had never been that far in their lives as you did.
The days which our loved ones are around us are much lesser compared to the days they are absent. It is still so hard for me to believe that you’re gone. I know you so well. I remember how my hands felt when I touched you. I remember your voice. I know your temper. I know your fears. I know what you like. I know you love me. I can’t believe that from now on those things will officially become just part of my memories.
But I thank God that He blessed you. Dad told me that you seemed like falling asleep without having pains, and your soul walking in heaven and knowing that you are loved. I do think that our time together is beautiful, and what you gave me is great enough.
For what it was worth, it is worth all the while. I will always love you. Time grabs us by the wrist that we have to go on. At those points in my life I cry (I should be happy because now you are at the best place), I don’t know why, but tears are still necessary.
Dear you, I love you, my favorite you.
SLOW IT DOWN 